Rachel (inugrlrayn) wrote in lovelusthonour,


Title: Simulacrum
Pairing: RoyxEnvy
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: violence. Implied character death.

Special thanks to my wife, muse, and beta hieronymousbfor influencing me into liking Envy and prodding me to write this and giving me a title. Also, there will probably me more chapters and it's totally her fault.

Roy shivered despite the fire that crackled in the fireplace of the little cabin. Snow swept in under the poorly fitted door, melting in a chilly puddle across the wooden floor. The former alchemist frowned. He should be packing for the trip to Central, but couldn’t seem to find the heart to do so. After all, he hadn’t returned when he’d been asked for anything else. Why should a funeral be different?

He was yours. You should be there. The voice in his head chided.

He’s not in that coffin. There shouldn’t even be a funeral at all.

It’s been almost two years. When are you going to believe that he’s gone?

When someone can prove it.

He would have come back to you if he wasn’t dead. You know that. The fact is, you’re out here because you believe you failed to protect him. It’s only a failure if he’s dead.

Roy gave up arguing with himself, setting about packing. Maybe this would be the closure he needed to go about patrolling this place in peace. Maybe he could stop denying, stop being haunted by whiskey eyes and golden hair every time he slept. Maybe he could stop waking to the feel of steel fingertips holding him close, only to disappear when he opened his eyes.

The man was startled by the sound of a knock at the door. Had Havoc come all this way just to make sure he went to the funeral? Shaking his head, he made his way for the door, letting the heavy wood fall open with a hoarse creak of rusted hinges.

Along with the harsh winter wind, a smallish figure blew in, nearly tumbling amidst the howling breeze. A familiar red cloaked alchemist stood in the doorway looking up at Roy.

“Are you gonna let me in?” a hauntingly remembered voice squawked, as metal fingers prodded Roy out of the way.


Ed just shook his head, as if Roy was saying the dumbest thing on the face of the planet.

“But… you… Where have you been?” Mustang finally demanded, not really giving Ed time for a response as he pulled the blonde into his arms, braid flying behind the startled young man.

“Good to see you too,” came the smaller alchemist’s retort, muffled against the blue fabric covering Roy’s chest.

“Where have you been?” Roy asked again, the shock of seeing his wayward lover on his doorstep slowly ebbing.

“Does it matter? I’m here now,” Ed whined just a little, pressing himself a little closer to Roy.

“You’re not getting out of this so easily,” Roy mentally smacked himself for that. It was simply the part of him that used to be Ed’s commanding officer talking. Nothing more. After all, his lover was right. It didn’t matter where he had been. He was here now, in Roy’s arms, familiar and beautiful all over again.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” the blonde insisted, and Roy let it go. He hadn’t really expected an answer, after all.

“You know, I was just packing to go to your…” Roy couldn’t finish the sentence, refused to admit that the world had truly believed the Fullmetal Alchemist to be dead and gone. Just the idea of losing Ed like that…

“Do they really think I’m so easy to destroy? Gosh, I go away for a little while and everyone just assumes I’m dead,” Ed laughed a little at that and Roy simply raised the eyebrow not covered by his eye patch. Why that was funny was beyond him.

“What are you laughing at?” he asked, mildly perturbed.

“It’s nothing. Just a little inside joke,” Ed assured him, pulling away to move further into the cabin.

“I’m glad to have you home,” Roy confessed, following Ed belatedly, like a shadow that was a little bit lagging. He fought the urge to wrap the younger man back up in his arms and never let go, to pester and goad the young man into telling him where he’d been. He didn’t even ask if they were still lovers, content just to have Ed back in his field of vision once more.

Ed grinned sheepishly, “I still have to find my brother. I came to see you first of all,” there was the softest of looks in those golden orbs, tinged with… something Roy couldn’t read.

“Al will be very happy to see you. You should find him as soon as possible. He’s been looking for you all this time,” Roy chided. He wondered if maybe the time spent far away was what made him outgrow his obsession with Al. The Ed he’d last seen would have shoved him aside at any given moment for his brother, at least he had thought as much.

“I’ll just go with you to Central. Speaking of which, do you know how much of a pain in the ass it was to come out here to find you? What the hell are you doing out here anyway?” the blonde demanded in true Ed fashion.

“Looking for redemption,” Roy responded cryptically. Ed didn’t ask for an explanation, simply shaking his head and flopping down in a chair as his companion pulled out a bottle whiskey and a glass. He thought about it for a moment and turned back to the younger man.

“Want some?”

“No thanks,” Ed shook his head. “Quite enough for one of us to be glued to that bottle.”

“Suit yourself,” Roy bristled at his former lover’s words, but poured a glass anyway, downing it almost immediately. He was entitled. It wasn’t every day that ghosts haunted this place for real, and not simply in his mind.


The two spoke for hours about nothing. Ed did not give any clue as to where he’d been and Roy did not pry. He was too happy to have his former subordinate back, and too tipsy to care at the moment anyway. Roy did not relay what had happened with the fuhrer because he was too busy enjoying the feel of whiskey burning as it slithered down his throat, Ed’s silky voice coating his ears. For a while, it was just like old times.

“You look like you’re ready to fall out of your chair,” Ed commented as Roy slumped, propping himself up with a not quite steady hand on the table. His vision lurched as his one good eye tried to follow Ed’s movement as he stepped around the table, leaning forward in front of the older man to wrap his arms around him.

“Come on. You should go to bed. We can always talk tomorrow. Hell, I’ll go to the funeral with you,” Ed laughed at that, though the sound seemed to pass through water before it got to Roy, leaving him confused and tired and wanting to curl up in a still familiar pair of arms and just go to sleep now.

It didn’t even occur to the older man that maybe he should ask before pulling the blonde into bed with him. His brain was too alcohol addled, overrun with want and need to just be close again. Ed only put up a token resistance though, struggling for a moment and grouching like a wet kitten for a few moments before giving in as Roy buried his nose in golden locks, soft breath hitting his neck in broken pieces.

“I thought I’d lost you,” Roy admitted sleepily as Ed rolled over, pillowing his head against the young man’s human shoulder.

“I’m here now aren’t I?”

Roy nodded, gripping Ed just a little tighter without sobriety to help his pride get in the way.

“I should head back to the hotel,” Ed muttered, gently pulling from Roy’s grasp.

“Stay a little longer?” Roy wasn’t entirely sure, but he suspected in his drunken mind that if he let Ed walk out that door, this all might cease to be real, that he’d wake up hung over and alone to find he was still attending the funeral of a dead man who insisted on haunting him in the worst possible ways.

“You’re going to sleep,” Ed retorted.

“I’m tired.”

“Then there’s no point in me staying. It’s not like I won’t come back in the morning.”

“I…” the dark haired man had nothing to say to that, simply grabbing Ed’s icy automail wrist, weakly gripping the metal.

“If you stay awake, I’ll stay,” Ed finally relented, sitting on the edge of the bed. Roy struggled with the way the room spun in front of his eye as he sat up, making his stomach lurch.

“Don’t die on me, Roy,” Ed grinned in a totally foreign way as he spoke the words. “It’d kinda suck considering I justgot back.

The former Fullmetal Alchemist pulled Roy awkwardly against him, offering a fumbling sort of comfort that only served to overwhelm the older man with bittersweet memories. Golden hair hung messily in its braid, draped over an automail shoulder hidden in layers of clothing, boyish hands pressed stiffly against his companion’s still shirted back. Those lips were so close, Roy couldn’t resist pressing his chastely against them.

“You’re drunk,” it was a statement of fact more than an actual objection, and Ed did not resist as Roy swallowed his voice, a wet tongue probing old, familiar territory. He simply sighed, burying fingers in ebony hair.

Mustang could feel the curtain alcohol had draped across his mind slowly lifting and pulled away in realization of what he was doing.

“What’s the matter?” Ed cocked an eyebrow at him.

“I…” he couldn’t really say. It felt so good and so… wrong, as if a piece was missing somewhere along the way. Everything was the same, and yet nothing was as he remembered it.

“Oh for the love of…” Ed didn’t finish, pouncing upon Roy and kissing him savagely.

“Don’t start something you don’t intend to finish,” soft whispers wormed their way into Roy’s ears and he whimpered slightly. It was possible that that had been caused by a wet tongue, gentle teeth nipping at his neck and jaw, nimble fingers pulling the buttons on his shirt open. Pink lips devoured his flesh as it was exposed, learning every new scar, every inch of his pale skin victim to Ed’s mouth.

It wasn’t the alcohol affecting him now. He just wanted, needed. Refusing to think more about the repercussions, Roy tore at Ed’s clothing, pulling it off in pieces. The blonde didn’t even seem to notice, too busy exploring the flesh he uncovered.

Roy stopped in his tracks for a moment when they were both naked, filing away the sight of his former lover now a full adult, different yet so much the same. It all felt so good and so wrong, everything he remembered, tainted by time. Ed’s lips tasted less sweet than Roy recalled, or maybe that had been the boyish version with a penchant for candy. His skin didn’t burn as Roy’s hands scraped over it, scrabbling for some sort of hold.

Steel fingers stroked down his stomach, a warm mouth not far behind. The cool digits paused to drift along his waistline before gently stroking his length. Roy, for his part, nearly screamed at the sensation.

“Miss me that much?” Ed grinned, lowering his lips to the head before the man could form a coherent response.

Roy could only gasp for air as the blonde head bobbed between his legs, tongue pressing his cock against the roof of a warm, wet mouth, metal fingers scraping at the insides of his thighs.

“F…fuck,” he finally managed, much to Ed’s amusement. The young man grinned around the object in his mouth, the tip of his tongue flicking against the slit. He drew in a shaky breath, fighting the waves of pleasure threatening to drown him in their intensity.

He was just beginning to realize he was helpless against this and give into sensation when, as abruptly as it had begun, Ed had pulled away, slithering back up Roy’s body. Slightly tanned flesh was cool against him, or perhaps his body was just on fire. It would be fitting, wouldn’t it, burning like a bonfire, crashing in pleasure? He had been the Flame alchemist, after all.

“How long has it been?” Ed asked, rummaging through the drawer by the table.

“Too long,” Roy was too aroused to be mortified by the whine that crept into his voice. He audibly whimpered as Ed slipped off the bed, bare ass swaying in the firelight as he headed for the kitchen.

“Where are you going?”

“You want to fuck me, don’t you?” Ed peeked back around the wall of the kitchen, mischief creeping into his smile. Roy couldn’t figure out for the life of him what sex had to do with the kitchen, but Ed seemed to know something, so he just let it be, contenting himself to let his own hands drift over naked skin.

It wasn’t long before his fingers drifted to all the places Ed’s mouth had traveled, stroking firmly enough to arouse, but not enough to give any real pleasure.

“That’s my job,” Ed batted his hands away, coating Roy’s length in something slippery.

“Ohhhh,” Roy moaned as Ed straddled his waist, allowing the head of Roy’s erection to nudge at his opening.

It was like being swallowed from both ends, as Ed pressed down onto Roy’s hips until the man was fully sheathed inside him, lips devouring his in brutal kisses that drew blood and lapped it away. It was a pleasurable sort of destruction, surpassed only by the feel of Ed lifting his hips and slamming down, muscles hugging him tightly.

“Just like old times?” Ed smirked. Roy wasn’t sure what he meant, but he nodded anyway.

“No wonder he loves you so damn much," the words were hissed venomously, but Roy didn’t notice, lost in the fact that he was sliding in and out of the lover he’d thought long since dead, enamored in the feel of silky golden strands of hair as he pulled them from the braid Ed insisted on keeping.

Roy nearly screamed as Ed shifted, pressing against Roy’s groin so that he was buried particularly deeply. At the same time, something hurt, agonizingly so, though his lust addled brain was having trouble comprehending. His stomach felt like it was exploding, burning and… wet.

Fighting the haze, a dark eye drifted down his own body to the automail blade buried in his stomach. He looked up in horror to see a cocky grin, bleeding all the way to honey colored eyes.

“Why?” he managed to gasp, whimpering in pleasure and pain as Ed rocked his hips.

“Because you are his and he doesn’t deserve it.”

Roy struggled to comprehend, countenance shifting from pained confusion, to outright horror as blond hair grew and spread apart, bleeding into a murky greenish black, golden eyes darkening to violet, flesh paling before his eyes.

“E…Envy…” Roy slurred, dizzy with blood loss, screaming as automail became a flesh fist within him, forcibly pulled from his stomach.

The smile that met him was toothy and might have even been mistaken for innocent if it hadn’t been attached to the face of a murderous homunculi.

“Ed,” Roy finally broke, sobbing the name of someone he feared he’d never see again.

“You could have lived if you hadn’t been so desperate to be with him. You may have even gotten to see him again,” Envy hissed.

“Where…?” Roy said no more, aching too much, though pleasure was still forced upon him as Envy stroked his own length, bucking against Roy’s.

“He’s on his way. Too bad you’ll be dead when he gets here. I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he realizes that he’s responsible for this."

Roy made an attempt at punching Envy, squirming in vain to get away, but his vision was blurry and all the strength was drained from his limbs.

“Please… don’t hurt him…” he moaned. He couldn’t save himself, but perhaps he could save Ed.

“You think you could stop me? Though I probably won’t have to. I bet he’ll fall to pieces when he finds you, naked, fucked, and rotting,” the homunculus tilted his head back, wallowing in the fantasy. It seemed enough to push him over the edge and liquid dripped over Roy’s torso, narrowly missing the open wound.

“Well, it’s been fun,” Envy’s muscles twitched around Roy’s cock, pulling him forcefully over the edge, spilling within the homunculus.

No more words were spoken, Envy too self satisfied to bother speaking, Roy too exhausted and in pain. The former alchemist shuddered as his vision swam, catching only a glimpse of a golden braid and a red coat slipping from the cabin.

He might have bound the wound, but it wouldn’t have helped. It was only a matter of time before stomach acid ate his body alive. It wasn’t as if he could move anyway. The darkness that enveloped him was a welcome respite to the agony he faced and before long he let himself succumb to its caress.


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