Song: Anywhere by Evanescence
Details: The first in a series of songfics I may or may not end up writing.
Hooray for songfics? I don’t own FMA nor do I own the song that motivated this or any future story. I’m not really into songfics so please excuse that only bits and pieces are in here. At the bottom is a link to the full lyrics and to the song itself. It’s “Anywhere” by Evanescence by the way.
“Why didn’t you come to me for help?” Roy all but growled. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t asked before, but Ed had never given him a straight answer. Al had spent the night with the Elrics’ father, and Ed had gone out for a walk, Roy following to make sure no other military personnel found him. Maybe now he could get an answer.
“I don’t need your help,” Ed quipped.
“You sure don’t appear that way. You’re in pretty deep considering you’re on the run from the military and all. What if someone other than us had found you?” Ed scowled, but said nothing.
“I just, I don’t want anyone else dragged into this. It’s my problem and I can handle it,” they came to a stop and Ed took a seat on a rock overlooking the stream that had watched their earlier confrontation.
“You don’t always have to depend on only yourself Edward,” Roy chided.
“You shouldn’t even be here. You should be back at Central, doing paperwork, or napping at your desk, or whatever it is you usually do all day.”
“Maybe so, but I’m here. At least let me help you. Otherwise, the fact that I’m not where I should be will have just been a waste,” Roy sat down beside him, catching the golden eyes in his.
“I…” Ed sighed. He had no argument for that.
“Why do you have to be so stubborn?” Roy asked harshly. Ed only glared, his resistance slowly crumbling. The corners of his eyes were a bit watery and he looked away to hide it, only drawing Roy’s attention more. The knowledge that he may not make it through this alive, knowing he might fail, and fear of both, struck hard, drawing wet streaks down his cheeks.
Out of ideas, Mustang finally gave in, pulling Edward abruptly into a hug. He expected the blonde to fight it, but instead, the teenager practically collapsed into it, feeling like he might break without Roy there to hold him together.
When he finally stopped crying, Ed gazed up at Mustang, a watery expression on his face. There was something oddly comforting about Roy’s presence, like nothing could go wrong, at least not right now. The other alchemist stared back at him, concern thinly veiled behind the stern expression Ed was so used to seeing lately.
“I’m sorry you had to come all the way out here,” Ed mumbled. After all, it might be his only opportunity to make amends with the man.
“I don’t care about that. I care that you didn’t trust me enough to ask for my help.”
“Why exactly should I trust you? You withheld information from me. You sent me on bogus leads. You used me when it was convenient,” Ed muttered. Roy let go of him, instead pulling the younger man to face him, hands tightly braced on fullmetal’s shoulders.
“I was trying to protect you Edward! Or are you too blind to see it? I never had anything but the best of intentions,” the younger alchemist hung his head slightly, guilt apparent on his face.
Roy sighed; he hadn’t meant to really make Ed feel bad. He looked like a shattered angel, sitting there, the sunset gleaming at his back. It was almost impossible to resist the urge to run his fingers through the satiny hair that fell into Ed’s eyes. Doing so sent a small shiver down the blonde’s spine.
“What was that for?” Ed grumbled.
“It was in your eyes.”
“So what? Just because you outrank me doesn’t mean you can tell me how to wear my god damned hair,” Ed hollered.
“You’re funny when you’re mad,” Mustang wondered why he’d just now realized how cute Fullmetal looked when he was fuming. He didn’t have long to think about it though, as Ed forcefully tackled him, pinning him to the rocky ground.
“It’s not funny Roy,” Ed’s face was only inches from his, and Roy gasped slightly as Ed lost his grip on the rock that was holding him up, falling the rest of the way onto him. Somewhere in the confusion that followed, their lips met, and while Roy was about to pull away, not really wanting to antagonize Ed further, he found the boy on top of him holding him there, soft lips still caressing his.
“I…I…umm,” Ed stammered and bit his lip, eyes wide as saucers as he pulled away, realizing what he’d just done.
“Shh,” Roy leaned up, kissing him again, pleased to find that Ed not only didn’t fight back, but seemed quite content to kiss him back.
They might have stayed like that all night, but rocks had a tendency to be painful, and finally, Roy’s back protested to the extra weight on top of his body.
The two walked back towards the house in silence, though Ed’s eyes had softened considerably, more serene than Mustang had ever seen them.
Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free
“I’m so afraid right now,” the blonde looked up at Roy, moonlight catching across his face, alighting the golden pools that were his eyes. It only made him look more celestial.
“What are you afraid of?” Roy asked quietly.
“What if I fail? What if something happens to me before I can change Al back? What if something happens to him?” he had stopped moving then, leaning precariously against a willow tree.
“You won’t fail. Everything will be fine. And even if you did fail, the sun would still rise tomorrow. You can’t take the whole world on your shoulders Ed, it will only break you. You don’t deserve that, and neither does Al,” Roy wrapped his arms around the slender body in front of him, wishing he could tell him not to go through with this. A pang of selfish fear stabbed through him at any of Ed’s worries actually coming true. If he failed, if he died, Roy wondered what it would be like to go on without the volatile boy. Especially now, just when they were starting to understand each other. It was the fear of losing Ed that motivated him to lean down, once again capturing the velvety lips in his own.
Edward sighed softly, falling into Roy’s arms, wrapping his own tightly around the colonel. Mustang ventured to slide one hand up his spine, pulling the ponytail deftly out of Ed’s braid, fanning the golden locks out behind his head and burying his fingers in them.
The blonde’s breath hitched slightly and he gripped Roy tighter, his lips moving almost frantically against his own, as if not sure what to do with them, but desperately wanting more. A mild curiosity as to whether he was the first to ever claim those lips floated across the back of his mind, but quickly drowned in sensation as automail fingers fluttered down his spine, drawing a sharp gasp from his lips.
‘What the hell are you doing’ Ed’s mind demanded as he moved to deepen the kiss he was so happily involved with. With just as much pleasure, he told his mind to shove it up its nonexistent ass and just let him enjoy this, think later. As if to punctuate his resolve, he pulled Roy completely against him before sinking down a little, pulling them both to the ground.
Somewhere along the trip down, comforting kisses became needy, something else Roy decided he could provide. If this was the only chance he had to bring a smile to Ed’s face, then so be it. He let his lips slide along Ed’s jaw, soft kisses and nips finding their way down along the side of the blonde’s neck, coming to a stop at the center of his collarbones.
Soft hiccups of pleasure bubbled from Ed’s lips, and he moaned in loss when Roy sat up to pull slide the younger male’s jacket from his shoulders. At least it’d be something soft for him to lie on. He reached for the black long sleeved shirt underneath, but Ed squirmed out of his grasp.
“You’ll get in trouble for this if anyone finds out,” he frowned.
“No one has to know,” Roy offered a small smile, though the worry had crossed his mind. Edward was worth the sacrifice though.
“No. I’m not letting you take that chance. Besides…” he trailed off, the rest of what he said not quite audible.
“It’s cold out here and the ground is hard and… and I’ve never done this. I don’t want it to be because I’m scared. I want it to be because I love you,” Ed blurted out, his sentences running together. It was enough of an explanation for Roy though, who moved off of Ed. He took off his own trench coat before laying down, pulling the boy to him and draping it over them both.
“We have all the time in the world to figure this out when it’s all over,” he whispered, planting a soft, chaste kiss to the corner of Ed’s mouth. Ed nodded, lips seeking another kiss before his head dropped beneath Roy’s chin.
Roy sat on the edge of his cot, replaying that night once more. It looked like he’d been wrong.
“Roy,” Hawkeye called to him from the other side of the bars.
“I told you to stop visiting me,” Roy said sternly.
“You need to see this,” her eyes didn’t seem quite right, though only years spent around the woman betrayed the fact. She handed a newspaper through his cell, and in an instant he caught Ed’s name on the front page.
“I’m sorry sir,” she bowed her head.
Roy didn’t read even the full headline before dismissing her. She always brought him things like this, though why, after three years, Ed’s name would be in the paper was beyond him.
God, had it really been so long? Three years since Ed had gone to fight the homunculus. Three years since he had killed one himself. Two and a half since he’d been court marshaled for murder. With no reason left to fight, he’d plead guilty, mostly to avoid his crew being dragged down with him. Now he was sentenced to life in prison, and it was sad to find, he honestly didn’t care anymore.
With that same relative disinterest, he glanced at the headline.
“FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST FOUND DEAD AFTER THREE YEARS”
Roy gasped. While he had decided long ago, the day Ed disappeared, that he might very well be dead, and really hadn’t planned to ever see him again, he had always hoped. It looked like now, as he read the article, that his fears had materialized.
“Edward Elric, the former Fullmetal Alchemist, was found dead yesterday morning,” Roy skimmed through the article, looking for some sort of clue.
“The cause of his death is, as of yet, undetermined,” someone had scribbled a note beneath the article and Roy squinted to read it.
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only HOLD us down
So by the morning's light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name
It was a cute love note really, and Roy wondered how exactly it had gotten there. It obviously wasn’t for him though, as Hawkeye would never be that sort. He supposed that didn’t really matter though, as he had no romantic interest in the woman who had stood at his side.
Roy spent the day in a daze, trying to avoid mourning openly. It only invited trouble to let anyone see your pain in this place. He hoped Al was okay, though he supposed he couldn’t be sure at this point.
The nights were different though. He was totally alone. He’d gotten so used to it, it really wasn’t such a bother anymore. Roy really wished he wasn’t alone now though. It was so cold, and now he knew that Ed was gone. After all he’d promised. At least when he hadn’t known for sure, there was hope that things would turn out alright. No hope for the dead though.
Mustang closed his eyes, willing his thoughts of Edward away. It would only serve to push him further under. With much effort and a few tears, he managed a fitful sleep.
Even in his dreams, Roy could not hope to keep Fullmetal away. He could feel the young man’s fingers running through his hair, whispering sweet nothings, things Edward would never have said to begin with.
I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
Edward gathered him in his arms, burying his nose in the crook of Roy’s shoulder. Perhaps it was the goodbye he never really got to give in person. He frowned at that, reaching to touch the face that had left his shoulder to gaze at him. It vanished though, and he was left alone, soft whispers echoing around him.
Let's run away, I'll take you there
by the morning's light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where no one needs a reason
Roy woke with a start, only to find himself alone. It wasn’t unexpected. He was saddened by it though. With a heavy sigh, he settled back onto the cot, curling in on himself. It was depressing really, to have come to this, but with sad resignation, he bowed his head, willing any warmth available to come a little closer.
It reminded him of curling up under his trench coat with Ed that night, which in turn reminded him of everything else, all leading up to the article in the paper. Roy Mustang finally snapped, tears flowing freely as they hadn’t in ages.
“I’m sorry Ed. I wish I could have protected you. I tried you know,” he shook his head, whispering between sobs.
“I know you did,” he swore he could hear Ed’s voice, so close now.
“It just wasn’t enough I guess.”
“What could you have done? I was a stupid kid ya know?” Roy laughed at that.
“Great, just great. You finally broke me Ed. I’d swear you were here if I didn’t know, for a fact, that you were dead.
The laughter that joined his own was painfully familiar. It drew closer and he jumped when he felt soft fingers connect with his shoulder.
“What?” Roy turned to look, but couldn’t see a thing in the dark as an automail arm wrapped around him and a still short body pressed into his back.
“These beds were definitely made for one,” Ed grumbled.
“It can’t be… You’re dead.”
Roy Mustang did NOT believe in ghosts. What other possibilities were there though? He could be a homunculus… or… he couldn’t think of anything else.
“Roy. That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” he turned around to find a pair of gold eyes, glinting brightly in the moonlight.
“Do I look dead to you?” Ed asked as Roy scooted from his grasp. He didn’t bother to hide the hurt that crossed his face.
“It’s just. The article in the newspaper,” Roy sat up, “and even if it were really Ed, why would you be here?”
“To get you out of here you dummy,” Ed grabbed for his hand, but Roy pulled away… This was one trap he wouldn’t fall into.
“Stay away from me. Whatever you are,” Roy glared at the figure, who just snorted and rolled his eyes, leaning ever closer.
“It figures that you would do this. Do you know how hard it was for me to get back here? If I’d known you wouldn’t even accept my help, I wouldn’t have bothered.”
“You can’t be Edward. He died,” Roy stated again, as if his argument hadn’t already been heard. He would have said more, but his lips were caught in a warm, familiar kiss. A little inexperienced and sloppy, but soft and inviting. Maybe this was real. After all, no one kissed quite like that.
“I missed that,” Ed sighed, settling against Roy’s still tense body.
“How am I supposed to know if you’re even real? You could easily be a homunculus,” Roy quipped, not yet ready to give in.
“Well, all homunculus have the mark of the Ourobouros right?” Ed sat still as Roy’s eye raked over him, looking for any sign of it there in the dark.
“It wouldn’t be hard to hide.”
With a small sigh, Ed removed his clothes, neatly laying them on the cot.
“There, see? No Ourobouros. Can we go now?” Ed huffed, but Roy was stunned silent by the lack of shyness from the used to be boy in front of him. It seemed that the years had only made him more beautiful.
“It really is you.”
“You certainly have a knack for stating the obvious,” Ed started, but was cut off by Roy’s lips on his. Suddenly, he had no words, eyes slipping shut, arms wrapping around the man in front of him.
“You got prettier,” Roy commented between kissing the younger man’s jaw and neck.
Ed moaned softly, only slight annoyance evident in his answer, “Are you calling me a girl Roy?”
“Not at all. I can’t help that you’re beautiful. I was just noticing is all,” Ed let his head fall back and leaned against the pillow on the cot.
“You know, we should get out of here. Continue elsewhere. I don’t really like the idea of screwing someone in a jail cell,” Ed pushed Roy off of him and stood once again, effectively breaking the mood.
“How… how did you?” he wasn’t even sure what he was asking, but Ed answered anyway as he pulled his clothes back on, to Roy’s almost disappointment.
“It’s not that difficult to make a fake of oneself. You should know that,” he pulled a bag from his pocket and drew a circle on the cold ground at his feet.
“A doll?” Ed grinned at that, dumping the contents of the bag on his completed circle.
“Just like painting a picture,” he pressed his fingers to it, blue light blanketing the cell, dancing in sparks across the floor and walls. Slowly the ingredients began to take shape, molding themselves in the form of a man. Ed gave the figure a lean body structure, exotic eyes, sad, pouting lips, messy ebony hair… and an eyepatch.
“Perfect,” Ed stood to admire his work.
“What exactly was the point of that?” Roy asked, more than a little confused.
“No one will come looking for you if you’re dead,” Ed smiled, taking a seat beside him again.
“Why would they look in the first place?”
“Roy, seriously. If you stay here, what do you have left? You’re not protecting anyone, and you are only throwing your life away,” Ed hissed.
“I refuse to spend the rest of my life running Ed,” Mustang was torn between hating this place and wanting to be free and his own pride and honor.
“No one can follow us where we are going,” Ed assured him, taking a hand in his before standing.
“Ed… I can’t.”
“You can and you will. Please,” Ed never asked for anything, and his voice audibly strained at the request.
“You’re not going to let me refuse are you?” Roy stood with a resigned sigh, wondering what it was Ed had up his sleeve.
“Not a chance. I have a new life now, and I want to be able to share it with someone I love,” Ed let slip in a sudden bout of pure honesty.
“Where are you staying these days?” Roy questioned as Ed let go of his hands, placing them on the stone wall.
“A place no one knows,” the blonde answered cryptically.
Once outside the compound, the two men made their way silently across the prison yard.
“How are we supposed to get out?” Roy asked.
“We’re not,” Edward led him to a secluded part of the yard, a circle Roy didn’t recognize already waiting for them.
“You ready to start over?” his voice whispered softly against Roy’s ear. He almost didn’t feel his shirt being pulled from him.
“What are you doing?” Ed didn’t answer, drawing smaller versions of the arrays on Roy and himself.
“Just trust me and let go,” the shorter alchemist finally spoke.
“But,” his protest was cut off by Ed’s lips against his again, human and automail fingers finding his hands and guiding them to Edward’s chest. They were settled on one of the arrays. He shivered involuntarily as the blonde’s hands felt along his chest, but did not fight as the younger man’s kiss delved deeper, sparks of blue just beginning to skate along their ankles.
Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
It was only moments before they were bathed in a blanket of electric blue, fingers moved from the arrays to wrap around each other. The sensation of everything and nothing seemed to take over and Roy found himself murmuring all the things he’d always wished he could tell Fullmetal in the younger man’s ear.
“I always loved you, you know.”
“Plenty of time to prove it now,” Ed quipped, a warm smile slinking across his face.
All too soon, the sensation was gone. In place of nothing was a room that looked to be a bedroom, pleasantly cluttered with books, bed unmade. Wordlessly, the two tumbled back onto it.
“Much better,” Ed grinned.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” Roy couldn’t help but ask, a guilty sense of responsibility, and unsureness about exactly what had just transpired taking over.
“Oh shut up,” there was no malice in the words, though the kiss that followed was a bit harsher than before.
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you
“There was a blue light flashing from Mustang’s cell,” the guard reported to the prison warden.
“Go check it out you moron,” said warden barked.
“Yes sir!” the guard dashed off to check out the disturbance.
A few moments later, frantic footsteps returned to his office.
“Sir… Mustang… is… he’s dead.”
Roy smiled, fingertips dancing over soft skin, smearing the arrays on his lover’s chest. His lips bet Ed’s in a soft kiss. He’d always been used to women who smelled of perfume or flowers. It was different with Ed though. Ed smelled like steel and oil and soap. It was a welcome change though, accompanied by soulful honey eyes and hair spun of gold. Even the automail was strangely beautiful as steel fingers tapped lightly down his spine.
“I missed you,” Ed professed, a slight pout gracing his mouth.
“I missed you too,” Roy admitted. His body was practically begging for more, not having had even a hug in years, but he stubbornly refused to give in. He wanted this moment to last, though he sensed, deep down, that he had the rest of their lived to enjoy what lay beneath him.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t get you out of there sooner. I couldn’t even get home until a couple weeks ago and then I had to wait on Winry’s damn automail and track Al down,” the corners of Ed’s eyes looked to be tearing up and Roy reached a finger up to gently brush them away.
“It’s alright. You came. That’s all that matters,” Roy soothed, “And I thank you for that much.” He pressed his lips to the blonde’s collarbone, dropping soft kisses down his chest and stomach. He smiled against the soft skin when Ed pulled in a sharp breath.
Another time, he might have been interested in contemplating the differences in dress between his world and this one, but all he really cared to analyze at the moment was the best way to remove them. Ed smiled slightly, mercifully unbuttoning the pants that seemed to have baffled the former colonel.
Roy pulled them down, along with the boxers underneath. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen all of Edward not so long before, but he was all the more breathtaking in the warm lamplight of the bedroom.
“You should breathe. It’s good for you,” Ed smirked, trying his best to lighten the mood. He looked visibly nervous and busied his hands, shakily fidgeting with Roy’s remaining clothes. Eventually, he managed to remove them, shyly shifting his gaze over Mustang’s body. It seemed that his time locked up, had not affected him adversely, at least not physically. Minus the eyepatch, it seemed nothing had changed.
Ed didn’t really have time to contemplate any of that though, his mind blanking out as warm fingers brushed along the front of his hip. He shivers as the tips of the digits combed softly through golden curls before whispering along his length.
The blonde let out a shuddering sigh, lips parted slightly as his head fell back on the pillows. Roy took the opportunity to kiss him again, exploring and tasting the younger man’s mouth. Ed busied his hands once again, human fingers trekking along Roy’s smooth torso as automail held him close.
Ed shuddered as Roy’s fingers danced over his length before firmly gripping him.
“Please… please… I need you,” he begged. They had forever to take things slow, but right now, he just couldn’t wait. With a low whine, he pulled Roy against him.
“Shh,” Roy soothed, drawing the torment painfully out as he moved down Edward’s body. Lips and teeth found a pink nipple, and the blonde arched into his mouth, begging incoherently.
Mustang flicked his tongue innocently over the hard nub, reveling in the sounds emanating from the creature beneath him. In that moment, Roy decided he’d touched heaven, and moved to take it over.
Ed’s eyes fluttered closed as wet lips and tongue found their way down his stomach, dipping briefly into his navel. They flew open, a soundless cry fighting its way from his lips as those lips closed over the tip of him. He thought he might cry as he was taken further in, enveloped in wet heat.
Roy gave Ed his full attention, working his mouth over the younger alchemist, watching his face twist in waves of pleasure. Amidst the gasps and moans, he deciphered soft words of encouragement and his own name, barely audible in the onslaught.
“Please… Roy…” Ed gasped, shuddering and writhing on the edge, but Roy pulled away.
“Not yet,” he chided, burying his face in the crook of Ed’s shoulder, leaning up to catch an ear in his teeth. The older Elric brother bucked beneath him at the sensation.
Ed tilted his head, allowing Roy better access to his ear and neck, which Mustang took full advantage off. He grinned slightly, his mind a hazy mess as his automail hand connected with the bedside drawer, rummaging for something that might make decent lube. He looked doubtfully at a bottle of hand lotion, but it would have to do.
Finally, Roy caught sight of what the blonde was doing and gently pulled the bottle from his hand, kissing the younger man senseless. Ed relaxed beneath touches that floated down his chest and stomach, over smeared arrays, palm sliding over and between his thighs. It was only the pleasantly distracting kisses that allowed him to relax as a single digit pressed slowly into him. As it was, his breath hitched, eyes open wide in surprise more than pain, and Roy ran his free hand through golden strands in an effort to calm him.
Golden orbs once again slid shut, remaining so as a second, then a third finger was added. The feeling was odd, he decided, but not bad. He was almost sorry when the digits were pulled from him and sighed plaintively.
“Edward,” the name was soft, just above a whisper, a question more than anything as Roy positioned himself between Ed’s legs. The younger man nodded, willing himself to relax, not really in pain as much as a little uncomfortable at the intrusion. Roy was still for a moment, but all discomfort disappeared when the man moved, striking deep within Edward. He let out a strangled cry, pulling the body above him against his chest.
The two moved a little clumsily at first, though what Ed lacked in experience, he made up for in enthusiasm, writhing beneath the other’s touches, scraping his fingers harmlessly down Roy’s back. His lips fell into a little o, eyes barely open, vision skewered by long lashes. But he could feel, god could he feel.
It all happened so fast, Roy moving within him, a hand on his length. He could feel something akin to an array beneath his fingers, but it moved through him, practically exploding before his eyes. With a whimpering cry, he climaxed, tensing for a moment before falling limp. That moment was enough to pull Roy along for the ride amidst soft curses and whispers.
Hawkeye picked up the morning newspaper, scanning the headlines out of habit. She wasn’t really surprised to find Roy’s name gracing the front page.
“Former Flame Alchemist Found Dead in Jail Cell”
Once again, here was no discernable cause of death.
Hawkeye quirked her lips up in a smile. No one had to know. No one else ever would.
In a cemetery in Central, two “bodies” are buried side by side. One an “alchemist of the people” on the run from the military, one a war hero, sentenced to life behind bars for assassination. No one noticed that Alphonse Elric didn’t attend his brother’s funeral. No one noticed the small smile that grazed Riza Hawkeye’s face as they lay Roy Mustang in the ground.
In the afterglow, Roy trailed his fingers lazily through golden strands of hair. Ed’s eyes were half closed, mouth parted, still trying to catch his breath. Roy wondered where he’d been brought, only long enough to decide he didn’t give a damn. This was somewhere he was free, somewhere he could be with someone he loved, somewhere that all that mattered was them.
http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Anywhere-lyrics-Evanescence/3193BB59328879EE48256CA00007F729 there's the lyrics
and here's the song for anyone who wants to hear it.